Another Unusual Occurrence
by pingo1387
Summary: Sequel to An Unusual Occurrence. France wakes up to find himself on a strange ship without his body, while Sanji finds himself in a similar predicament. Can England fix the situation that he didn't cause? And will the Strawhats notice that their beloved cook has been replaced? Same pairings as previous story.
1. In Which France Is A Blond Cook

**Al~righty! This here's the sequel to my first fanfiction An Unusual Occurrence (hence the title). If you haven't read that story, I strongly recommend doing that before reading this story, as many things will make a lot more sense. **

**Here's the story: /s/8008587/1/An-Unusual-Occurence**

**Anyway, now that you've read the previous story... here's a quick reminder: France/Sanji refers to France in Sanji's body, while Sanji/France refers to Sanji in France's body.**

**Have fun reading~**

**Also, the One Piece portion takes place between Skypiea and the Davy Back Fight.**

* * *

France sleepily opened his eyes. He started to push himself up from England's couch, only to stop when he felt not the soft cushion of the seat beneath him, but crisscrossing ropes. He sat up and looked around. He was surrounded by wooden walls. A large pole with rungs led to a hole in the ceiling, set in the center of the room. He noticed several other people sleeping around him in hammocks – and upon looking down, he learned that he was sitting on one as well. He also learned that he wasn't wearing his gorgeous Parisian sweater, but a sleek black suit with a pinstripe blue shirt beneath it, as well as a black tie. His hands seemed different as well.

Noticing a mirror in the far corner of the room, he rolled out of the hammock and quietly crept to the mirror. He almost yelled in shock and clapped a hand to his mouth to prevent this.

What he saw was not himself. In the mirror stood a young man (probably 19 or 20, he guessed) with blond hair that covered the left eye; an eyebrow that (for some reason) curled into a small spiral on the outside of the forehead; some stubble just below the mouth; and of course, the pure black suit, along with the black tie, black shoes, blue shirt, and shiny gold buttons, three down each side of the suit.

France waved his hand. The young man in the mirror waved back, copying his movements exactly. He sat down heavily.

_I've… I've switched bodies with this young man? This is just like when _angleterre_ switched with that Luffy character… but now _I'm_ the one taking the brunt of the effect. Come to think of it, this is probably his fault… hopefully he'll be able to fix it soon._

He was just considering how to find out how to act like whoever he was now when an idea occurred to him.

_Hm… why not just let these people figure it out themselves? I'd like to see their reactions… it would be quite amusing. I'll just act like myself – that would be much easier than attempting to impersonate someone I don't know._

Smirking, he rose from the floor and climbed the rungs. Oh, this was going to be fun.

Emerging outside, he instantly realized that he was on a boat – or, more properly, a ship. The sail on the main mast fluttered slightly in the breeze. France realized that it was marked with a jolly roger – one wearing a yellow hat with a red band around the middle. That was odd… a pirate ship? The young man whose body he had sure didn't look like a pirate… and what kind of jolly roger had a hat?

Shaking his head in bewilderment, he set about in search of the kitchen. As he looked around, he heard someone calling to him from high above: "_Ohayo_, cook-_san_!"

Looking up, he found someone – they were too far away to make out the features, but he could tell it was a woman from the voice – peering down at him from the crow's nest. He smiled and waved. "_Bonjour_, _mademoiselle_! Could you tell me where the kitchen is?"

She pointed towards an open door a little ways down the deck. He nodded. "_Merci_!"

Walking into the kitchen, he took off the suit jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and started cooking breakfast for… let's see… how many people? He'd seen four sleeping in the room, so including himself and the woman in the crow's nest… six? Eh. Might as well make more servings in case anyone wants seconds.

* * *

France had just finished making the last of the omelets when people started coming in – a green-haired man with three swords, a small… was that a reindeer? No, it must have been a child wearing a costume… a fellow with an unusually long nose, the woman from the crow's nest (who he now could see was quite lovely), another woman that must have been sleeping elsewhere (she had short red hair, and was wearing a t-shirt with shorts), and finally, a boy wearing a straw hat (it looked like the one on the jolly roger, France noted) over his black hair, a red vest, and blue shorts.

"_Ohayo_!" the kid greeted happily. "_Ne_, what's for breakfast, Sanji?"

"Omelets with—"

France stopped. Sanji? Where had he heard that name before…

_"O...kay? Say, are you feeling alright?"_

_"Of course I am! Hey, blond guy, have you seen Sanji? I'm really hungry!"_

_"Pardon,_ angleterre_, but who the hell is Sanji?"_

France almost gasped out loud with shock. So this young man whose body he now had… _this_ was 'Sanji'? Which meant… he had come to the same place that _angleterre_ had come to… and this kid…

"Luffy?" he exclaimed, turning to face him fully.

Luffy grinned. "Huh? What?"

"Oh, nothing… I just haven't, well, talked to you for quite some time…"

Luffy stared at him curiously. "Um… okay. So what's for breakfast?"

"Omelets with cheese."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "What the hell's wrong with you, love-cook?"

France/Sanji was about to make some scathing reply when he noticed for the first time just how lovely the redhead was. Pulling out a rose that he found in his shirt pocket, he exclaimed, "Ah, _mademoiselle_, how I have longed to gaze upon such a face as yours!"

As he was about to start serenading her with a French love song, the Latino brunette caught his eye. Turning to her, he presented her with another rose and cried "_Mademoiselle_, you too are lovely, you have beauty to rival that of the moon itself!"

He was now torn between the two women. "Oh, how cruel this God is that would force me to choose between two equally lovely women!"

"Never mind, he seems normal," Zoro muttered, grabbing a plate.


	2. In Which Sanji Is A Blond Cook

**Heeey everyone! I'm sorry that this note isn't an actual update, but it's rather important. You see, my computer's down, so I won't be able to type any new chapters for a while. **

**We're getting a new computer, but I don't know how soon it'll be set up, so I can't say how long I'll be gone.**

**So I'm sorry, but no new updates for... at least a week, I guess.**

**Happy holidays!**

* * *

Sanji, meanwhile, had a slightly ruder awakening. He half-opened his eyes to find himself being repeatedly punched in the stomach, each blow punctuated with a word.

"Stupid – bloody – frog – how – many – bloody – times – have – I – told – you – not – to – sleep – on – my – couch – "

Still half-asleep, Sanji flew up from where he was laying down and flung his leg, automatically exclaiming "_Mutton shoot_!" as he did so. The person went flying into a black box, cracking and shattering the glass that covered the front of it.

Blinking open his eyes, Sanji realized that he was not, in fact, on his ship, but in a stranger's house. He walked over to the person, who was rubbing the back of their head. "You," he growled, "have exactly _five_ seconds to tell me where the hell I am and how I got here."

The person looked up and Sanji immediately recognized him. He stumbled back slightly.

"Arthur!" he cried. "Is that _you_?"

England frowned. "Of course it's me, you git, who else would it be? And what _are_ you talking about? You know how you got here, now piss off!"

"Arthur, what are _you_ talking about?" said Sanji, rather confused. "It's _me_, not whomever you're talking about! And the last time I checked, I was on the ship, not on your…" he glanced over at what he'd woken up on. "…your couch."

England frowned. Something seemed familiar about this… "Hold on a minute." He got up, rubbed his head again, and left, returning a few seconds later with a small hand mirror. "Look in this."

Sanji took the hand mirror from him and studied his face. He reeled slightly from shock. The mirror showed a man with shoulder-length, wavy blond hair, blue eyes, and stubble. Looking down on his outfit, he found that he was not wearing his usual sleek black suit, but a blue turtleneck sweater and skinny jeans.

"What the hell – what the hell is _this_!" he yelled.

England sighed. He'd suspected as much. "What's your name?"

"My name's Sanji, of course!"

England's eyes widened. "Really? Sanji?"

"Yes! Now tell me what's going on!"

"As far as I can figure," England said, folding his arms, "you seem to be in the body of my arch-nemesis."

"Arch-nemesis?"

"…we don't get along. Or at least I don't get along with him."

"Wait," Sanji/France said, "so this guy—" he gestured to himself, "—is in _my_ precious body?"

England gave an affirmative nod.

"…well, shit." He glared at England. "Mind telling me how this kind of thing has happened _twice_ now?"

At this, England looked confused. "I didn't think of that until now… the thing is, Sanji, I—"

There was the sound of someone moving down the hall, and a second later America had appeared, wearing boxers and no shirt, looking like he had just gotten out of bed.

"Hey, Iggy," he said. "Where're we goin' for breakfast? I don't feel like cooking anything and there's no way I'm letting _you_ cook—"

His eyes fell upon Sanji/France and he laughed. "Hey, Francis, did you sleep on Iggy's couch again? Rejected, huh?"

Sanji/France looked at England for an explanation. England glared at America (looking at the shirtless man a little bit longer than he should have) and turned back to Sanji/France. "This git stayed the night. He insisted on coming to my house to watch a horror movie with me, and then he was too scared to sleep by himself, so I let him sleep in my bed with me."

"Dude," America protested, "I wasn't scared! I thought you might have been scared and you didn't want to admit it, so I slept with you to protect—wait, that sounded wrong, scratch that." He coughed. "Anyway…" he gestured to Sanji/France. "What about him?"

"Oi!" Sanji/France protested. "I have a name!"

"I know. I just didn't feel like using it."

Sanji/France looked helplessly at England. "Arthur, could you please do something about this?"

England nodded. "Alfred," he said, gesturing to Sanji/France, "this isn't the frog. Do you remember when I, er, switched bodies with Luffy? The hyper boy?"

America thought. It looked like hard work. "Um… oh, yeah! That joke y'all played on me a while ago. What about it?"

"…it wasn't a joke… anyway, a similar situation seems to have happened here. This is Sanji, the cook on the ship Going Merry."

America laughed. "Okay, I get it, it's another joke. Fine, I'll play along. So to repeat my earlier question, where are we going for breakfast?"

"I can cook," offered Sanji/France.

"You're a guest!" England protested. "I can't make you cook! I'll just mix up some waffles or something!"

"Arthur, unless memory fails me, you're a horrible cook. I think I'd better do it."

America laughed. "Ooooooh!"

"You're both awful."


	3. In Which France Manages To Piss Off Zoro

**Whooo... been a while since I updated this. Sorry 'bout that.**

* * *

France/Sanji sat at the kitchen table, pondering how this could have happened. Of course, the only explanation was that _angleterre_ had somehow screwed up another spell, but why had it affected him? He hadn't been near England recently when the latter was attempting to perform magic. But wait! What if—

"Sanji-_kun_!"

At the light, melodious voice, France/Sanji turned around and smiled broadly. "Ah, my lovely star! What may I have the pleasure of doing for you today?"

Nami smiled and asked "Oh, I was just wondering… are you feeling okay?"

"Eh? I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"It's just… for some reason, your cooking didn't taste as spectacular as usual today."

France/Sanji's mouth dropped open. This kid was a better cook than him? No, it must be just because he wasn't trying his best this morning… "Then I shall make a meal this afternoon even better than my usual cooking!" he exclaimed.

"Thank you, Sanji-_kun_!" Nami stroked his cheek gently and left the room.

"Oh, anything for you, my dear! And would you mind terribly if I asked you to let her know as well?"

"You mean Robin? Sure!"

Ah… Robin… what a lovely name…

A slap on the shoulder got his attention. "Oi, cook!"

France/Sanji looked up to see Zoro. "If this is about the food, I'm fine. Trust me, it'll taste better later today."

Zoro seemed a bit surprised. "Um, okay. Just for your information, it was Chopper who wanted to know, not me."

"Forget the food; I have something else I want to say. Sit, will you please?" He gestured to the seat across from him. Zoro raised his eyebrows and sat down apprehensively.

"Well?" he demanded. "Spill."

"I was just wondering… which one is yours?"

"…excuse me?"

"Which of the lovely women are you going out with? I prefer my women to be single – I _so_ dislike making a lovely lady cheat on her lover."

Zoro stared. "Your brain get up and walk away or something, cook? You know I'm not interested in Nami _or_ Robin!"

France/Sanji looked at him closely – by leaning in and getting very close to his face. Zoro tried to jump backwards, but because he was sitting down, he only succeeded in falling over in his chair. "What the hell!" he yelled from the floor.

The blond man came around the table and held out a hand. "Sorry, didn't mean to make you fall."

Zoro stared again, this time with more confusion. He slapped the offering hand away and pushed himself up. "What the _hell_ were you doing?"

"Oh, that. I was just confirming something. Now that it's taken care of, how about a—"

"Wait. Tell me what you were confirming."

"That you're gay."

"WHAT!?"

"You're gay, I can tell. As I was saying, now that I've confirmed that, how about a quick make-out session?"

Zoro opened his mouth, but no words came out. He seemed to be in shock, his face turning all sorts of shades: first red, then purple, then green, back to red…

"What? Surely you're interested in a handsome young man like me!" He struck a sexy pose. Zoro found his tongue at last.

"I." he growled, moving towards France/Sanji. "Do." He lifted up the cook by the collar. "Not." He brought him closer. "_Like_." He pulled back a fist. "MEN!" the fist connected with France/Sanji's face and sent him tumbling to the ground. Zoro kicked him for good measure and left the room to recover from the horror of seeing the cook in such a pose.


	4. In Which America Makes A Promise

**Two updates in one day... :'D**

* * *

Sanji/France set down the dishcloth he'd been using to dry the cookware and stared at England. "What do you _mean_, you don't know what happened?"

"Exactly what I said," said England, setting down the last plate for the cook to dry and folding his arms. "I have no idea how you and the frog switched bodies. I haven't done any form of magic for the past week, at least. The most recent one I _did _do was simply a potion, and that shouldn't have affected anyone; nothing went wrong and it would have affected you two sooner."

"So how exactly do you plan to switch us back?"

"I'm going to need the source of the spell; what words, if any, were said, the name of the spell itself, etcetera."

"You guys are really into this, huh?" America commented, watching them work from the kitchen table.

"Shut up," they said at the same time. Sanji/France looked at England and asked, "Not to be rude, but can't you just do what you did last time to switch yourself and Luffy back? The magic circle thing…"

"The problem with _that_ is that the book is in your world. I didn't bring it back with me."

"Ah."

"Right now, basically all that I can do is check around for possible causes of this problem. Hopefully, it won't take too long."

"I see." Sanji/France finished drying and putting away the dishes. England turned to America.

"Alfred, while I'm doing research, would you mind entertaining our guest for a little bit?"

"Sure. I don't got anything else to do."

England didn't bother correcting his poor grammar. "Thank you very much for cooking breakfast, Sanji."

"My pleasure, Arthur."

"Oh, yes," added England, "may I speak to you alone for a second, Alfred?"

America shrugged and followed him out of the kitchen, throwing a backwards glance at Sanji/France.

"Yeah?"

"Listen; while you're entertaining our guest, I absolutely _forbid_ you to enter my bedchamber."

"You mean your bedroom? Why?"

"That's where I keep the manga series One Piece. I've gotten quite interested in it after what happened last time with Luffy…"

"One Piece… sounds familiar. Anyway, what does that have to do with this?"

"Sanji is the cook from that manga. Once again, the body-swap seems to have transcended the universal barrier."

"…eh?"

"He came from a comic book, America."

"Oh."

"Anyway, if he were to realize that he's simply a fictional character in our universe; well, think about what kind of mental trauma that may cause."

"Oh, it's part of the joke. Sure, I won't go in. You have the hero's word!" America promptly took off his shirt (he'd borrowed clothes from England and changed at some point), took a cigarette lighter from his pocket, set his shirt on fire, and waved it over his head. England stared at the now shirtless America.

"…what the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Whenever I make a promise, I set my shirt on fire."

"Why on Earth would you do that?"

"Because that's what the hero does!"

"…you realize, of course, that you just burned _my_ shirt."

"So?"

"…please make yourself decent before entertaining our guest."


	5. In Which France Beats Sanji In Cooking

France/Sanji finished cooking lunch with a flourish and called to everyone that the meal was ready. Luffy was the first one to the kitchen, followed by the red-head (her name must be Nami, judging from what the swordsman had said), the long-nosed fellow, Robin, and the kid in the reindeer suit. In short, everyone except for Zoro.

"Oi," said France/Sanji, preparing to dish out the food. "Where's the swordsman? Isn't he coming?"

Usopp raised his hand. "Um, Zoro wanted me to bring lunch up to him. He said that he didn't want to come down and that he didn't trust Luffy with it."

"Hey! Zoro doesn't trust me?"

"Not with food, he doesn't! _Nobody_ trusts you with food, Luffy!" Turning back to the cook, Usopp continued "He said something about 'mental trauma from the cook'. What'd you do, Sanji?"

"So it traumatized him, hm? Or so he says…"

"What?"

"Nothing. I didn't do anything in particular."

"Oookay." Usopp sat down and expectantly held his silverware in his hands. Luffy and Chopper copied him.

"Meat!" Luffy started banging his silverware on the table. "Meat, Sanji, meat!"

"Hold on, it's coming." France/Sanji dished up the food and laid plates in front of everyone. They thanked him and started eating. Almost immediately after taking the first bite, they stopped. The cook looked at each of them in turn.

"Is something wrong?"

Luffy was the first to speak. "This… this food… IT'S SO GOOD!"

"It's delicious, Sanji-_kun_!"

"A lot better than what you usually cook, and I didn't even think that was possible!"

"This tastes splendid, cook-_san_."

"Can I have more when I'm done, please?"

Luffy was already onto his last bits of food. "Did you add something different? It's like you're a superhuman cook now!"

France/Sanji smiled. "Thank you all for your kind words. Of course you can have more," he added to Chopper, who smiled and was dished out a slightly smaller second helping.

"Luffy, don't have too much. Zoro needs to eat, too."

Usopp had just finished his food and was asking for seconds. "When I'm done, I'll bring him his food, 'kay?"

"Okay," agreed the cook, dishing everyone up seconds.

* * *

Zoro lifted absurd amounts of weight in the men's sleeping quarters, hoping that the exercise would clear the terrifying image of that – that _pose_ – aimed at him – from the cook – _oh God, I'm thinking about it again!_

Usopp came down the ladder, a plate of food with a fork in one hand. "Oi, Zoro! Lunch!"

"Thanks, Usopp…" Zoro took the food, sat down, and took a bite. His eyes widened and he nearly dropped his fork.

"It's good, isn't it?"

"…tell him I said it was okay." Zoro stabbed his fork in and started shoveling the food into his mouth.

* * *

**Alternate scene:**

**Luffy was already onto his last bits of food. "Did you add something different? It's like you're a superhuman cook now!"**

**France/Sanji smiled and bowed. "I am not a cook. I... am merely a butler."**

**(( I was so tempted to put that there ))**


	6. In Which Sanji Learns The Truth

**Yay, update!**

* * *

Sanji/France and America decided to stay in England's living room while the latter was in the basement, exploring different options for counter-spells.

America grinned and said, "So, um, Sanji, right?"

"Yes…"

"So, um, what's it like on your ship?"

Sanji/France smiled. "Insane. Luffy, our captain, he's got a bottomless pit of a stomach and he's kind of an idiot. There's a stupid green-haired swordsman… our sniper, Usopp, he's always making up stories and hiding when there's a fight. Chopper is a reindeer, our doctor, and our emergency food. And of course…" he leaned back in the chair that he was sitting in and grinned, his nostrils flaring slightly. "…there's our super-cute navigator, Nami-_swan_, and our equally beautiful archaeologist, Robin-_chwan_…" he sighed and put his head in a hand. "Oh, how I miss my darlings already… and the rest, I suppose…"

"Man, France is really good at making things up," America muttered to himself. He snapped his fingers. "Hey, you miss them, do you?"

"Of course I do! And I'm sure that they're also pining for their handsome cook!"

"Excuse me for a minute…" America ran down the hallway to England's office, where he logged onto the computer (he'd figured out the password a long time ago, to England's ignorance) and did an image search for 'Nami-san' and 'Robin-chan'.

Staring at the computer, he muttered to himself "France must have done some research before doing this. They _are_ pretty hot."

He printed out some pictures of the sexiest images of them that he could find of both of them and rushed back to the living room, where Sanji/France was waiting patiently. He looked up upon America's arrival.

"Sorry," he said before America could show him the pictures, "but do you think this guy would mind if I had a smoke?"

"Probably not," America shrugged. "He doesn't really smoke, but he has a cigarette once in a while." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack. "Here, I always carry some just in case."

"Ah, thanks…" Sanji accepted the cigarette and lit it, taking in a drag and blowing out the smoke. "Now what's that paper?"

"Oh, I think that you'll enjoy these…" America put the papers on the coffee table.

"Mm? What're these?" Sanji/France picked up the papers and looked at the images. His face turned bright red, steam came out of his nostrils, and his eyes and cigarette smoke became heart shapes.

"UWAAAAH! NAMI-_SWAN_! ROBIN-_CHWAN_! Ah, you two are even lovelier than you normally are!" He hugged the papers to his chest and stared at them for a full five minutes before asking America where he'd gotten them.

America put a finger to his lips and winked. "That's a secret! Just don't tell England that I gave them to you, 'k?"

"England?" Sanji tilted his head. "I thought his name was Arthur?"

"No, that's just his human name."

"Human name? Are you saying that he's not human?"

"Not exactly. Him and me are country personifications. We just have a human form! I'm actually over 250 years old now. I think he's at least… I dunno… over 500 years old or something…"

…

"Oh, I probably wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Sanji/France's eyes were wide as he gestured to America. "Alfred, you're telling me that you're over 250 years old? And that Arthur – or England – is over 500 years old?"

"Yup! But my 'human' age is 19. His is… 50? Yeah, 50 sounds about right."

Sanji/France held up a hand. "Hold up. You're saying that you're _immortal_?"

"Kind of. As long as my country doesn't disappear."

"And if your country does disappear?"

"I die."

"…so this house… since this is Arth—England's house, does this house also play some part in the country personification?"

"Kind of. Our houses are where we live, and the size of the house usually represents the size of our country. Like, my house is pretty big, almost as big as Mattie's (my brother) house…"

"Brother? You can have siblings?"

"Kind of. We're on the same continent, so we're basically brothers."

Sanji/France held up a hand again. "Wait. I'm sorry, I'm getting a bit confused. Continent? What is a continent?"

"Oh, your world's different, huh? Hold on, I'll show you a globe of our world…"

* * *

"So much land," marveled Sanji/France, spinning the globe that America had pilfered from England's office. "Our world is made up entirely of islands and a single mountain that cuts all the way around the world…"

"Really? Sounds cool."

"So where are you again?"

America pointed out the North America continent. "I'm right here, and my brother's right here. England's over here… and the personification that _you_ are is right here."

"This man is also a personification?"

"Yup. Country of France."

"This is hurting my head…" Sanji sat back down on the chair. "I'm just going to look at the pictures, if you don't mind."

"Sure, go ahead," said America, who was passing the time by spinning the globe and sticking his finger on it to see where it landed. To his annoyance, he always seemed to land on Russia.


	7. In Which Robin Is Scary

**...I'm back :D**

* * *

France/Sanji looked around the men's room (Zoro had moved upon his arrival). "Now where could they be…?"

Usopp poked his head in upside-down through the ceiling hatch. "_Ne_, Sanji, you looking for something?"

The cook straightened up. "Oh, Usopp… do you know where the cigarettes are?"

"Eh? Aren't they in your jacket pocket like usual?"

"Jacket…?" He fiddled around in his coat pocket and came upon a pack of cigarettes. "Ah, here they are. My mistake! _Merci_!"

Usopp shrugged and withdrew his head, only to pop back a second later. "Oh yeah, Sanji…"

"Mm?"

"Luffy says he's hungry and he wants to know if you can make him something… should I just tell him that you said to wait 'til dinner?"

"_Non_," said France/Sanji, successfully lighting a cigarette. "_S'il tu plait_, tell him that I'll make a snack in a minute."

"Eeh? You're really making him a snack?"

"Sure, I don't see why not."

"_Ja_, can Chopper and I have one too!?"

Nod.

"Woo-hoo! Food!" he withdrew and shouted something to Luffy and Chopper, upon which loud whooping followed. France/Sanji ascended the ladder and entered the kitchen with the three teenagers following him. Within minutes a dish was assembled, which the blond cook named –

"_Sandwichs Miniatures! Bon appétit!_" he placed the platter in front of them.

"Whoa-ho! Looks so gooood!"

"O-Oi, Luffy! Don't drool on the food!"

"This is all you get before dinner," added France/Sanji, turning away. "I don't want you three to ruin your appetites."

"Luffy! Stop eating it all! We want some too!"

* * *

France/Sanji strolled out onto the deck, breathing out smoke over the open sea. Zoro immediately vacated the premises upon his arrival. A minute passed before the cook noticed Robin lounging on a deck chair, silently reading a history book. He smiled. "_Bonjour_ again, darling Robin!"

Robin looked up and offered the cook a small smile. "Hello again, cook-_san_," she said before returning to her book. France/Sanji leaned over her shoulder.

"Oh? What're you reading, darling?"

A few hands sprouted behind the blond man's back and gently pulled him away from Robin, at least out of her personal bubble. France/Sanji looked back to see what had happened, but before he spotted anything, the hands vanished in a shower of petals. He shrugged and turned back, this time not so close to Robin, and repeated his question.

"It's a fictional story about four friends who become trapped in a castle and are being killed off one by one. There are only two of them left."

"…"

"Hm? Well, I _do_ sometimes take a break from archaeology books." She turned back to the novel, murmuring to herself, "I wonder how the last characters will be killed off… perhaps poison? Or broken limbs?"

France/Sanji backed away. "Erm… excuse me, I'm going to check on those three in the kitchen…" he went away as quickly as possible while trying to seem as casual as possible. Robin watched him go, smiled, and returned to her book.


	8. In Which Hungary Is Surprised

"So? Any luck so far?"

Sanji/France, England, and America sat around the table, eating the sandwiches made by the aforementioned cook. England had attempted to make the meal earlier, but the bread had caught fire when his back was turned. Now, he was holding up a finger, indicating that he would answer Sanji's question in a minute. Swallowing his food, he said "Actually, yes. I did some tests, and it turns out that a spell was cast sometime in the last 24 hours or so in the vicinity. It certainly wasn't me, but I have a suspicion as to whom—"

The doorbell chimed with the tune of "God Save the Queen". England sighed. "Visitors? Why do they always come at the most inconvenient times? Excuse me."

He rose from the table and moved down the small flight of stairs to the front door. A voice reached America and Sanji/France's ears, saying "Hello, England! Sorry to bother you, but have you seen Prussia anywhere? He stole my entire collection of photos and skillets and took off. I haven't had any luck around the mainland, so I thought he might have escaped here."

Sanji/France perked up. "Is that…"

"Oh, that's just Hungary," said America, shoving the rest of England's sandwich in his mouth. "Sounds like Prussia pissed her off aga—hey, where're you goin'?"

The blond cook had already gotten to the stairs and was looking at Hungary. She looked up at him. "Oh… hi, France. What are you doing here?"

Sanji/France smiled goofily. "Beeautifuuuul… LAAAADY!" he spun down the stairs and grabbed Hungary's hands. She seemed shocked, to say the least.

"_Mademoiselle_, would you do me the honor ofuuaaaaahh—"

America had come up behind him and clapped his hands to the cook's head, rendering him unconscious. "Sorry 'bout that," he said, chewing the rest of the sandwiches. "I'll get him outta the way for you."

He grabbed Sanji/France by the wrists and unceremoniously dragged him up the stairs. Hungary stared after them. "What…"

"Never mind," said England quickly. "Anyway, no, sorry, I haven't seen Prussia. I'll keep my eyes open, though. Was that all, Hungary?"

"Erm, yes," said Hungary, still staring after America and who she thought was France. "I'm going to try elsewhere…"

"Goodbye then," said England, shutting the door as she turned to leave. He went upstairs, where America had plopped Sanji/France on the couch. "Thank you for doing that, Alfred."

"No problem. By the way, I told him about us being countries."

England stared at him. "…you_ what_?"

"It's not a big deal, right?"

"I suppose not, since he comes from a completely different world… but it's not a good habit to get into! You can't just go blurting out that we're, for all practical purposes, immortal! If the general public found out, we'd have assassins from foreign countries on our tail, trying to eliminate us, we'd have the paparazzi constantly stalking us, we wouldn't get a moment of peace—"

"Okay, okay, geez, I'm _sorry_. I won't do it again, 'k?"

England let out something between a groan and a scream. "Forget it. Let's wait until he wakes up and I'll finish telling him about what I found out. In the meantime, I'm going to finish my lunch, and have a little talk with a certain _child_."

America raised his finger. "Um…"

"What is it?"

He cleared his throat.

"…you ate all of the sandwiches, didn't you."

Nod.

"…you realize that I despise you right now."

Nod.


	9. In Which Sealand Confesses His Deed

England pulled a cord hanging from the ceiling. A hatch became visible and swung down as a set of stairs unfolded from it. He ascended the stairs, calling as he did so "I know that you're here, Peter. If you come out now, you won't be punished for hiding in my attic again."

A few seconds of silence passed. Then a small blond head popped out from behind a box. "Aw, how'd you know I was here, Artie?" he complained.

"Because you did exactly the same thing at the last world meeting that was held; you probably hid in the boot of my car again, didn't you? And were you going to pull another 'ghost' prank on me?"

"Wow, you must be psychic!" Sealand climbed out from his hiding spot and dusted himself off.

"No, you're just too predictable. Now come on downstairs; I'd like to talk to you."

"Am I in trouble? Hey!" Peter said, suddenly indignant. "You said that I wouldn't get in trouble!"

"No one's in trouble! I just want to talk to you!"

Sealand stuck out his tongue. "Make me."

"If you cooperate, I'll give you some fairy floss afterward. You still have to return to your place, though."

"Okay!" The child happily followed Arthur downstairs to the living room, where America was sitting on the chair and had put his feet up on the table, touching the bowl of wax fruits (one of which had a bite taken out of it, for some reason), and where Sanji/France had started to wake up. The latter rubbed his eyes.

"Mm…? What happened…? AH!" he ran to the door. "Where did the lovely lady go!?"

America looked up. "Hey Sanji, or France, or whoever you're supposed to be now. If you mean Hungary, she left a while ago."

"The last thing I remember…" the blond man grumbled, returning to the couch to sit down huffily, "is a rather sharp pain in my skull."

"Sorry," said America tonelessly. Sanji/France glared at him, and then noticed England and Sealand standing at the entrance.

"Arthur? Who is this little boy?"

"I'm not a little boy!" The little boy stomped his foot. "I'm a grown-up! I'm a real country too!"

"Calm yourself, Peter, he didn't say anything about that," soothed England. Sealand grumped, but calmed down a bit.

"Hey, wait a minute, you know me, right France?" said Sealand curiously, realizing what the older nation had said. "I'm Sealand!"

"Nice to meet you, Sealand," said Sanji/France. "Say, England, is he your son?"

"No, he's basically my little brother… I'm sure that Alfred already told you about our sibling relationships," he added, glaring at America. The latter waved to him.

"Eeh?" said Sealand, becoming more confused by the minute.

"Before I explain, Peter," said England, sitting next to Sanji/France on the couch, "I just want to know: You've been here for at least two days, correct?"

"…yeah…" Sealand shuffled his feet, looking sheepish.

"And did you—remember, you won't get in trouble—did you use any of my spell books downstairs; any at all?"

Sealand hesitated before nodding. "Uh-huh. I saw one that looked cool… I didn't really understand what it was saying, but I tried it, and nothing happened…"

"Okay," said England, now taking on a parenting tone of voice: firm but kind. "Sealand, you should _never_ even _touch _any of those books without explicit permission from me. Some of them can't even be touched with bare hands without burning or poisoning. It's okay this time, you're not in trouble, and I'm not scolding you. I'm just telling you this so you'll be _safe_. Okay?"

"…okay." Peter looked ashamed and scared at this point, knowing that he had come close to being hurt.

"Okay, good." England stood up. "Can you show me exactly which book and which spell you used?"

Sealand led his older brother downstairs. America turned to Sanji/France. "Hey, sounds like you'll be back in your own body soon. How cool is that?"

"_Très_ cool," agreed Sanji. "I cannot wait to see my darling Nami-_swan_ and Robin-_chwan_ again…" reaching for the papers that were stowed underneath the fruit bowl, he hugged them to his chest. "Now, if I could only take these pictures with me…"

"Hey, maybe you can! Maybe if you just, like, hold them in your hand, it'll come with you!"

"Highly unlikely… but worth a shot." Sanji/France clenched the papers in his hand, keeping them out of sight as Arthur and Peter re-entered the room, the former holding a book.

"Okay, Peter, you'll get your sweet in a minute," said England, preparing to do the counter-spell. "Sanji, I think I should warn you that when I finish saying the spell, you're going to fall unconscious, much like what happened with Luffy and me last time."

Sanji shifted into a slightly more comfortable position on the couch, lying down and placing his head on the pillow in the same position that he'd woken up in. "Say, won't France, or Francis, or whatever his name is, be unconscious as well? What if he's standing? My body would get hurt when it falls…"

"Don't worry, it would be just a few bruises," said England calmly. "Besides, it'll hurt the frog."

"But my body will still be hurt."

"Think of it this way: France will hurt a lot more than you will when he comes back. I plan to give him the beating that I accidentally gave you."

"I see…"

"Wait," broke in Sealand, "what's going on?"

"I'll explain more later on, Peter," England said. "For now, suffice it to say that France switched bodies with someone else."

"Oh," said Peter.

England began chanting the spell. The entire thing took approximately two minutes to say. Finally:

"_…taht on nam sevil reverof; taht daed nem esir pu reven; taht neve eht tseiraew revir sdniw erehwemos efas ot aes._"

With these last words, Sanji/France's eyes began to flutter closed. As one would naturally do in the day while falling asleep, he tried to blink them open at first, but then relaxed as they became too heavy to lift. They closed entirely and he appeared to be sleeping.

"Okay," said England, setting aside the book and walking up to France's body while cracking his knuckles. "Now to wait until he wakes up."

* * *

Meanwhile, while England was beginning the chant, France/Sanji was scolding Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp. Apparently Luffy had eaten most of Usopp and Chopper's share of snack.

"Luffy," grumbled the blond cook. Luffy looked away and whistled. "Honestly, you can't just be taking others' food. I had all of that evenly divided so that you would all get an equal portion, and you still took some?"

"But I was hungry."

"You're always hungry, from what I've seen. Look, I didn't want you to spoil your appetite for dinner."

"Um…" Usopp raised a hand. "Sanji, I don't think that he would have spoiled his appetite. He could have eaten all of those sandwiches you gave us and still be hungry."

"Oh? Really?" the cook looked at Luffy in interest. "Your metabolism must be at near light-speed level… though I probably should have guessed that from the way you ate before."

"It sure seems that way sometimes! Hey, Sanji, what's wrong?" said Chopper suddenly in alarm. France/Sanji's eyes had begun to close. He snapped them open.

"I… what? I'm suddenly… really… tired…" he collapsed on the floor, seemingly unconscious.

"Eh? What's wrong, Sanji?"

"Aaah! Sanji's sick!"

"Someone get a doctor!"

* * *

**So... this story will be finishing up sooner than anticipated. However! Soon after it is finished, I'm going to complete the trilogy by publishing the third story "A Final Unusual Occurrence". Try and guess who will be switched with whom ;)**

**And to all people who don't speak British: Fairy floss is cotton candy.**


	10. In Which Sanji Takes A Beating

**YES YES I DID IT I FINISHED IT TODAY**

* * *

The first thing France felt upon opening his eyes was slight confusion. The next was pain in his abdominals. His eyes flew open to see England punching him in the stomach repeatedly.

"Ow!" he shouted. "_Angleterre_, what are you doing!?"

England stopped and looked at him. "Oh, good. You're back."

And went right back to punching him.

France rolled out of the way and off the couch. Standing up, he looked around and saw that he was back in England's living room, where England, Sealand, and America stood or sat. He waved merrily to them. "_Bonjour_, I'm back from a fantastic journey," he joked. "Did you miss me in my absence?"

"No."

"Nope."

"Not really…"

"Hm," pouted France. His eyes fell upon something on the wall. "_Angleterre_, why is your T.V. broken?"

"To make a long story short, Sanji pushed me into it."

"Ah, and is Sanji back where he belongs?"

"I sure as hell hope so," muttered England.

"Hey, Arthur, can I have my candy now?"

"Yes, but you're going straight home afterward."

The two went into the kitchen. America turned to France. "Hey, do you have anything in your hand?"

"My…" France checked his palms. "_Non_… why?"

"Oh, no reason, no reason," grinned America.

* * *

Sanji's eyes fluttered open to see his crew hovering above him – all except for Zoro, who was in the room but kept his distance. He sat up, looking around.

"Yay! Sanji's not sick!" yelled Luffy, laughing.

"That's good, Sanji… we were getting worried…" sighed Chopper, sitting at the table. The rest started to walk away, satisfied that he was alright.

"Y-You guys!" exclaimed Sanji in disbelief. "Didn't you miss me at all?"

They stopped and turned back. "Sanji-_kun_, you were only out for a few minutes," said Nami. Sanji's face lit up when he saw her.

"Nami-_swan_, I missed you so much!" he tried to hug her but was thrown back. She frowned.

"_What _are you talking about? You've been here all morning!"

"W-What? I have not!"

"Yes you have."

"No I haven't! Listen," he said, "you remember when Arthur switched bodies with Luffy?"

Nodding went around the crew.

"I happened to switch bodies this morning with that friend of his, the one he calls the 'frog'. Are you telling me that _none_ of you noticed?"

"Aw, come on, Sanji," laughed Usopp. "You didn't act different at all this morning! I mean, you did give Luffy and Chopper and me a snack, but you were just being nice! And your cooking was _really-awesomely-super_ good this afternoon… but that's all, and that's what you do!"

Sanji's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "None of you… noticed…"

He soon became aware that he was clenching something in his hand. Unfolding the papers, he saw the amazing pictures that America had gotten for him. "Ah!" he cried, holding them up. "These papers _prove_ that I wasn't here! They came with me, so take a look!"

"Aw, come on, what could they be?" Luffy grabbed the papers from him and looked at them. He tilted his head. "I don't get it."

"Let me see, Luffy!" Usopp grabbed the papers and his mouth dropped open. "WHOA! SANJI, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THESE?"

"I told you, from the other place! From Arthur's world! But I don't know who drew them, because America got them for me…"

"Well, what are they?" Nami took the papers from Usopp. Sanji tried to stop her, but it was too late. She stared at them in shock, hands shaking in anger.

"Robin," she said, gritting her teeth. "Come over here and take a quick look at these."

Robin complied with her request. She stared at the pictures of her and felt her dignity and pride break, literally felt them shatter into small pieces – especially at the one where her legs were suggestively spread. Turning towards the cook with a kind of cold fury, she said quietly "Navigator-_san_."

"Yes, Robin?"

"I think we need to teach cook-_san_ a little lesson in pain."

"That sounds good," said Nami, dragging Sanji by his collar into the cannon/storage room. For the next ten minutes, the crew heard sounds of cracking, electricity hitting things, thumping, and general violence. Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper cowered in a corner.

"N-Nami's scary…"

"R-Robin's scaring me…"

"Let's never look at those pictures ever."

"Usopp, I think Nami's burning them."

* * *

~Fin~

* * *

**EDIT: Here's the third one: /s/9113631/1/A-Final-Unusual-Occurrence**

**Story's done! Thank you for all your support, minna-sama~!**


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